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It's a Numbers Game

Dating as a divorced dad in your 40s with three children in present day Dallas is interesting to say the least.  It's not at all like dating in your 20s in the early 1990s Dallas! Like Morgan Freeman's character "Red" experienced in the Shawshank Redemption (one of my favorite movies of all time), so much had changed in the world after I was a "free man". The club and bar scene, style, culture, and fashion had all changed dramatically. The biggest change though: technology, specifically apps and mobile phones.  One evening at a happy hour in Addison, TX, a female co-worker friend of mine told me about dating apps. She must have been feeling sorry for me, because she took my phone and she set them up for me! Ha! I guess it was time to "get busy living, or get busy dying" as Red would say. 

Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble make it extremely easy for singles to chat and then connect. Both men and women become very uninhibited behind the safety of a keyboard or phone. It was easy (and common) for me to have up to 4 or 5 dates lined up in one week when I was dating. Sometimes two in one night. It's an expensive, tiring, and unfulfilling way to live. And I found that over time, the more dates I went on that led to nowhere, the lonelier I would feel. At the end of 2015, I had been on too many ho-hum dates and in a few short flameout-type relationships. I had seen the good, the bad, the ugly and the sloppy. I had been dumped, ghosted, or just plain stood up a few times. As 2015 came to a close, I was frustrated with my dating life and decided to take 2016 off. "Just take a year off and reboot your mind" I thought to myself.  I had given up dating, but, as the year came to a close, I was really in a good place emotionally, being alone, and being a single dad. I had learned to love my new life. But 5 days into 2016, something told me to just check the Bumble dating app just one more time.

It was a cold Tuesday night, January the 5th, and I was home up late looking in the Bumble app.  A profile appeared that I'd not seen before:  Kellie. Wow! She's pretty and fair skinned. Check! Beautiful eyes and flowing chestnut hair, tall, and she dresses nice.  She has a daughter. That's cool; I have three kids, so a woman that has children is important to me. Looks like family is important to her. She doesn't take selfies; that's not common in today's dating scene, but cool! No red flag photos. All good! Pictures tell a story and as an old magician told me one time, "perception is reality". Could I potentially introduce a person like this to my children and family based on these pictures?  Sure I could. 

She looked familiar, but I couldn't place where I had seen her before. I saw that her profile said she worked in radio. Then it hit me. The girl I was dating when I moved to Dallas in 1993 listened to a radio show on 106.1 KISS FM. I used to see billboards around town with Kellie's picture on them. This had to be the Kellie she used to talk about and laugh hysterically with. I never did listen to that show in my 23 years in Dallas because I always listened to sports radio or my own music. So I don't know her as a radio personality, nor did I know what the show was about or any of the bits on the show. But man, she's really gorgeous.  After looking at her profile for about 5 minutes, she was too attractive to pass up. My thinking was that if we did happen to match, we'd have some things in common to talk about since we both have kids and I work in the advertising and marketing industry.


I swiped right and went to bed, like I had too many times before.

Kellie Rasberry
Big Al Mack Kidd Kraddick Kellie Rasberry

A Kidd Kraddick In The Morning billboard like this one is where I remember seeing Kellie's face, some 23+ years prior to meeting her in person. I truly believe that God brought us together.

Bumble Allen Evans Kellie Rasberry

Kellie and I met on the Bumble dating app. I tried them all, and this one was my favorite, well for obvious reasons.

Dating Experience Allen Evans Kellie Rasberry

"Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free." This described my dating and relationship experiences. It's so true.

Kellie Rasberry

These are two of the pictures Kellie had on her Bumble dating profile that attracted me to her. It's easy to see why I swiped right! That's Kellie's cousin, Leah and Kellie's daughter, Emma Kelly. Everyone in Kellie's family is good looking!

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