During our last podcast I confessed — that sounds so ominous, doesn’t it? — that I had started the Keto diet a couple days before. Originally, I wasn’t going to say anything because this seems to have become the latest in a long string of fad diets. (Atkins, anyone?) I mainly wanted to keep quiet about it because I was afraid I would quit after a couple of days and look foolish. I figured if I did have some real success with it, THEN I would share the juicy details so we could all be in Ketosis and suffer bad breath together. But I went ahead and opened my big mouth because that’s just what I do. I share.
So first thing I did was buy the Simply Keto book by Suzanne Ryan. I bought it because Living with Landyn said she was using that book to do Keto and I want to do everything Living with Landyn does. I’m oddly obsessed with her, which my poor husband can attest to because he has to go to bed with both of us every night. (I have to check her Instagram Stories before lights out.) The thing about Landyn is, she’s skinny as a minute. And while I don’t believe she needs to lose a single pound, who am I to judge when a woman thinks she needs to drop a couple to feel better about herself. I’m not the one looking at her backside in the 3-way mirror of a dressing room realizing that I should’ve been paying attention to what’s been going on back there before now. Wait…..that was me. Yes, the truth is, I looked at MY backside in the 3-way mirror of a dressing room before we went on spring break and I was appalled by what I saw. At home, I see myself naked from the front and from the side and I convince myself that I’m not looking too bad. But that 3-way mirror is a reality check for your backside and mine was a real ego killer. I left that dressing room with a big dose of the truth and now I have to face the consequences.
So I bought the book, read it during spring break, came home and loaded up on pretty much everything Suzanne recommended, only to throw away about half of it today because I can’t eat it fast enough. But I HAVE eaten more avocados this week than I’ve consumed in my entire life, and I’ve actually put “fat bombs” made of pure butter and cream cheese into my mouth because I was told to do it. Now I didn’t go out and order the recommended pin-prick blood tests to track whether I’m ketosis or not. I figured if I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, I’d be in ketosis, dang it! Why torture myself with needles? But here’s the result after one week on Keto…..
I’ve lost NOTHING. I do believe my belly is a little flatter because I’ve lost some belly bloat but otherwise, the scale hasn’t budged.
In Keto’s defense, I have NOT stuck to it religiously, not by any stretch of the imagination. I haven’t had anything I’m NOT allowed to eat, but I’ve had a lot of what I AM allowed to eat. This apparently doesn’t work well in Ketoville. Who would’ve thought you can have too many fat bombs?? But in my defense, who knew a ball of butter and cream cheese could be so delicious…And yes, while vodka is allowed, I skipped over that “in moderation” part this weekend. Hey, we were without the kids and we had a couple date nights! I wanted vodka!
I think I’m going to stick it out a little while longer, mainly because I’ve bought a bunch of Keto stuff I still have to eat. But I’ll be honest, the only thing that has truly ever worked for me is counting calories. And the easiest way to do that — for me, at least — was with the MyFitnessPal app. That’s how I dropped about 15 pounds for my wedding and fit into my off-the-rack, fit-in-it-or-else dress. But I had a specific goal in mind with a target date to go with it, and THAT was the difference between me sticking to it religiously and not. I just don’t have a do-or-die motivation in my life right now to drop 10 pounds. Well, maybe if I walked around with a portable 3-way mirror I would….But 10 or 15 pounds isn’t the end of the world….even though I do have a couple pairs of pants I’d like to get back into this summer.
So that’s the Keto diet for me so far. I wouldn’t call this a success story, but I am seeing how it’s making it a lot easier for me to just say no to carbs. So let’s consider that a win, shall we? And now I think I might go celebrate with another fat bomb.